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My Konstantine

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RIP [09 Dec 2006|04:14am]
[ mood | sad ]

I've been laying in bed for the past 1/2 hour, staring blankly at my fan spinning in circles...I don't know how to handle whats going on. Its been just barely a week since I found out you died, and I think i'm really angry with myself. When I first found out I was hysterical, but I haven't shed a tear since. I've just been so numb to everything. I went to the funeral hoping it would make me feel better, but it didn't. They kept talking about how even though you were always suffering you were still joyful...but I forgot that side of you. I don't rememember you happy. And worst of all, I don't remember you being happy with me. We've both had so much pent up anger towards each other these past three years, and even though we would talk like everything was normal and hang out, I think we both resented each other for past events in our friendship. But recently you were scared, and even though I said I would always be there for you, I know I still held on to that resentment. I wish I didn't. I avoided you recently and I'm so sorry, I wish I could take it back. I had a weird feeling last wednesday to talk to you but I ignored it, and now I'll never have another chance. I wish I could tell you how much I cared about you and the impact you made on my life. I wish we could just lay in each others' laps and make noises to forget the world. Do you remember our plans to live in NYC together and work at Red Rock West? Or our notebook where we saved EVERY convo? And of course stinky and monkey boy...I wish we could have made more recent happy memories, but these will always be in my heart. You will always be in my heart and soul and I will NEVER forget you. I love and miss you little devil, breathe easy.

RIP Aaryn Lustig
May 18, 1987 - December 1, 2006

[16 Sep 2006|07:03pm]
[ mood | blank ]

i think i'm just really dissappointed in everything and everyone :-\

wahoooo [11 Sep 2005|04:12am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

I love college. There's lots of pics on my webshots so you better all be looking at them! Tired...had to wait til 3:30am for my fricken pizza.

Oh yes I am coming home Sept 30th to Oct 2nd so you should all call me, if not you can find me with my awesome friend Gavin.


(4 Miss Me. Did you know I miss you?)

[28 May 2005|04:10am]
[ mood | infuriated ]

I can't believe you did that, that was beyond lower than low. i never hated you before, I wanted to, but wouldn't let myself. You were the most amazing person, had been forever, now you're nothing but a dirty slut.

I can't wait for Arizona. I want to start over and forget you.

[05 May 2005|06:50pm]
Because of some loser who has nothing better to do than comment anonymously on people's lj this is now friends only.
(4 Miss Me. Did you know I miss you?)

[20 Jun 2004|11:05pm]

re-doing friends lists so if you were on there before you still have to asked to be added.
(49 Miss Me. Did you know I miss you?)

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